Parental responsibility is a term that may be familiar, particularly to parents who have separated so that their children have two homes. But what does parental responsibility actually mean for parents during the Coronavirus pandemic?
Ordinarily, parental responsibility describes the responsibilities that parents (or others with parental responsibility) have towards their children and towards one another. It includes the minor day-to-day decision-making that ensures children are kept safe and well, as well as more major decision-making, such as giving consent for a child’s medical treatment or choosing a child’s school.
Whether children have parents in one or two homes, parents who are physically present with children tend to make the minor day-to-day decisions. For example, if one parent is at work, the other is generally taking responsibility for the children’s routine, safety and well-being. For major decisions, parents should and must consult one another, and if they cannot agree, are entitled to ask the court to assist them.
While social distancing measures are in place, some parents are finding their views about what to do during Coronavirus differ. This can be for many reasons. Some examples include:
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one parent feels the children would be best to stay in one home and the other does not
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there is a long journey between homes and one parent feels the children should not be travelling other than locally
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one parent is a key worker i.e. higher risk, and the other is not
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one parent isn’t confident the other is adhering to the government’s rules and guidelines
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one parent is concerned the children will not be returned in the usual way at the end of a staying period.
Throughout many countries in the world, the message appears to have been the same: if a child has two homes, it is acceptable for them to continue to move between them in order to spend time with both parents provided the families in the two homes are following the rules about keeping safe and minimising the risk of contracting and spreading the virus. This is the case, for example, in England, Wales, France, Germany and China (save for the Wuhan area in which – for a period – nobody was able to leave their home).
As everyone is aware, the government has for the time-being set out rules about what people may or may not do. The rules permit children to move between their homes. In addition, the President of the Family Court, Sir Andrew McFarlane, has issued guidance on behalf of the family court: https://www.judiciary.uk/announcements/coronavirus-crisis-guidance-on-compliance-with-family-court-child-arrangement-orders/. His guidance asks parents, first and foremost, to be mindful of their parental responsibility, to communicate constructively and work out what the best thing is for their children in their family’s circumstances.
And so parents have choices to make. Where possible, children will benefit from continuing in their usual pattern. However, some parents may conclude that staying in one home with one parent for a spell is appropriate, or perhaps to adapt the arrangements so that each parent can help share the burden of childcare. If there is a court order in place and parents agree temporarily to change the arrangements, that is fine, but they are asked to record the decision between them in an email or text message.
Things are a little more tricky in terms of exercising parental responsibility if one parent is concerned about a child or children’s welfare, and their view is at odds with their child’s other parent. In these circumstances, a parent is given permission to decide that the usual or court ordered arrangements will not go ahead. They are told clearly, however, that if necessary, the court will be able to review such a decision to consider whether it was reasonable and sensible in all the circumstances.
In working together to make decisions in your children’s best interests, it is worth considering the following things:
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What is your child/ren’s other parent’s attitude to risk? What are your children’s attitudes? A nervous child, for example, may be impacting a parent’s approach to proposing changed arrangements.
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Can the existing pattern continue okay? What reassurances can be given? Can you draw up an agreed list of hygiene rules that give everyone peace of mind?
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What alternatives can work well for everyone?
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What will help to keep everyone the safest?
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What can each parent be doing to help the other?
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What reassurances can be given about children being returned as expected and in accordance with the normal arrangements?
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Bear in mind the likelihood that this may carry on for some time. If there is another wave of school closures and everyone coming indoors, the arrangements may shift again.
A relationship charity that helps parents think about how to consider and reflect on things from one another’s and the children’s perspectives is oneplusone: https://www.oneplusone.org.uk/. Parents can look at the resources section of the website, and in particular, two clips called ‘Getting It Right for Children’ and ‘Seeing Things Differently’. These clips help parents to think about how to make reflective and child-centred decisions. You can use the skills taught in the videos to help you make decisions about the immediate arrangements together.